2010年最值得您拜读的冷笑话幽默小故事大全爆笑绝对让您捧腹不已

1.男孩对女孩说:“如果你愿意,我愿意!!!”(暗语你猜出来了吗?)

2.今天我也当了回“HR”!我看了半天,对乌龟说:“你们谁先动我就买谁!”(HR=猎头)

3.去闲逛,小凤与同学走失,突然商场广播响起:“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台,你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问:哈尔滨停水4天,要赶上拉肚子了怎么办?

回答:有没有想过,在家里搞个“生态洗手池”,一边冲水一边唱歌,一不留神,就能把病菌都洗掉啦!

5.今日正午起,工大进入全面停水状态,据说至少四天,为帮大家顺利度过缺水期,特提供以下应急方案:

刷牙用白醋,杀灭细菌,去除异味,让人倍增自信;至于洗脸,不成问题,用牛奶,它纯净无刺激性,还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤。

6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”,一共一百万个,要买就得一次买100万个,一少一个就失去收藏价值,这不是什么好玩的游戏吗?

7.now business is not good to do, eh?

8.these days, I heard that if you offend the handsome guy or the cool guy in our class, they will drag you out and give you a beating! They'll gouge your eyes out, pull off your hair, pour acid on your face, knock out your teeth, cut off your tongue to make a club!

9.this weekend no gifts allowed; only mineral water accepted! The boy held not chocolates nor roses but bottles of bottled water — my eyes are only for you!!

10.at roll call time today when they called my name I jumped up and shouted "Teacher,you missed one!"

11.haerbin city stops water supply by Nanfushan泉 alone!

12.a girl met a mugger who trembled and said "I'm from Minzu University just graduated haven't found work yet..." The mugger burst into tears saying "Sister don't worry we won't rob our own people!"

13.(Harbin Institute of Technology) I: Rumor has it that Harbin is going to have an earthquake? What should we do then in XX? Boyfriend: That would be perfect; I wouldn't need to move myself~

14.I hate two kinds of people:

15.playing CS with someone wearing 51 goggles charging forward while shouting "Follow me!!"

16.shaking awake~ Teacher said "Today's class ends here..." Woke up~

17.in our dorm room someone just learned how to play the violin; those sounds were like scratching on a pot bottom... sharp noises piercing through eardrums.

18.same-sex friend wants something from teacher~ Colleague envies her status~~

19.Teacher asks about party members in our class: There are 14 party members among us boys.

20.asked food court: what should eat for warmth during cold weather?

21.if replying were virtue then I'd be saint already!

22.told girlfriend ML but she says no so allows washing “partially”. Afterward girlfriend blushes telling him which part to wash...

23.a blind beggar wearing sunglasses begging on the street.

24.someone sings at home: “I won’t be big brother for many years….” Then someone yells “Big Brother please stop!”

25.would rather China have no virgins than Japan have any!

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