1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲戚家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
6.Olympic吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，不是买一个就是少了一根发丝。
7.Now is not a good time to do business!
8.Anyone who insults me, a handsome young man or an ugly duckling, will be dragged out and beaten up! Even MIMI will be cut off!
9.This weekend I won't accept gifts; I'll only accept mineral water! The boy holding the mineral water - my eyes are only on you!!
10.When the teacher calls roll and you're not there, your final grade will be deducted by 50 points! As he skipped over one name, he suddenly jumped ahead; so he shouted loudly: "Teacher, you missed one!"
11.Harbin's water stop is sponsored by Nongfu Spring!
12.A girl being robbed trembled and said: "I'm from Mining University; just graduated, really have no money..." The robber cried bitterly and said: "Sister, I'm also from Mining University; take good care of your certificate; before us robbers come for our own kind!"
13.(Harbin Institute of Technology) You say Harbin might have an earthquake? What if that happens when we're in XX? My boyfriend replied with a smile: That would be perfect - no need for me to move at all~~~
14.I hate two kinds of people:
15.Playing CS, I saw someone wearing sunglasses pointing a straight line forward with his hand labeled as “51”, followed by a row of words --- "wo shi dang yuan，follow me!!!"
16.Wake up~ Teacher said one sentence: “Today's class ends here….” And woke up~
17.In the dormitory where SG just learned to play the violin, those sharp sounds were like scratching nails on pots... We tried not to discourage him out of kindness.
18.The same mm was envious... So I teased her saying it's easy now; just exchange your ID card for 9 bucks.
19.Teacher reports work to leader: Our party members are 14 people in our class.
20.Asked the canteen staff what food can help keep warm during cold weather?
21.If replying comments were virtues then I'd already be divine!
22.Want ML with girlfriend but says no way then agrees it’s cold enough to wash “parts”. After washing she became very coy saying “Lovey-dovey please relax using which part……” Fell over after hearing this while brushing my teeth!!! (Gigantic evasion)
23.A blind beggar wearing sunglasses begs on the street.
Note that some content may require additional context or explanations due to cultural references or inside jokes specific to China.
