1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？
回答：有没有想过，在家里种个大棚，自己种点蔬菜呀？这样不仅可以解决食物问题，还能避免外出传染疾病呢！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，去除异味，让你的牙齿清新如初；
洗脸，用牛奶，不仅清洁，而且温和，不会刺激皮肤，同时还能让肌肤柔嫩光泽；
晚上泡脚，用酸奶，因为乳酸菌能有效清除一日的污垢，让你的脚趾舒适至极！
6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，每个都是独一无二的，有趣又可收藏。
7.now is not the best time to do business!
8.everyone who dares to offend me, a handsome man named Qingchen and a handsome man named Yugo, will be dragged out and beaten up! Cut off their eyes, pull out their hair, pour acid on their faces, knock out their teeth, cut off their tongues!
9.this weekend I won't accept gifts; I'll only accept bottled water! The boy with a tender heart holds up not chocolate or roses but bottles of mineral water - my eyes are only for you!!
10.when the teacher calls roll after class and forgets one student's name, he suddenly jumps ahead; thus he shouts loudly: "Teacher, you missed one!" The old teacher looks down at him and says: "There isn't anyone missing..."
11.harbin city-wide water stop sponsored by nongfu spring!
12.a girl met a robber who trembled: "I'm from mining college; just graduated; really don't have any money..." The robber burst into tears saying: "Sister-in-law is also from mining college; take your ID card well; the robbers in front are all from mining college; rest assured we won't rob our own kind!"
13.(harbin university of science and technology) i said jokingly that there might be an earthquake in harbin? Then what about us at XX? My boyfriend replied nonchalantly: "If there's an earthquake in harbin then i'll be happy to lie on top of you~"
14.i hate two kinds of people:
1.with racial discrimination;
2.blacks;
3.those who can't count!
15.playing cs online saw someone holding a sign that read '51' straight towards me with 'wo shi dang yuan,follow me!!' written below.
16.shake shake wake up ~
the teacher said one sentence before stopping class:"today's lesson ends here..."
then woke up ~
17.in the dormitory where ssg just learned how to play violin,
those sounds were like scraping nails on pots... sharp noises piercing through everyone's eardrums,
out of kindness they didn’t discourage him.
One afternoon when he was playing away,
someone opened the door unexpectedly,
and hygiene inspector auntie came over sternly saying,"who in this dorm room is burning prohibited appliances??"
18.the same-class mm made envious gestures ~~
i teased her saying,"it’s so easy now,"
she thought it was too simple to get married.
so she pulled over a guy on the street exclaiming,”let’s get married!”
19.to report his work to his superior:
we have 14 party members in our class;
male students make up half.
20.asked food vendor:
what should i eat during cold weather?
answer:
eat some cotton wool for warmth~
标签： 一千个爆笑谜语 、 脑筋急转弯大全及答案爆笑版 、 冷笑话简短一问一答 、 3 4岁脑筋急转弯 、 搞笑的脑筋急转弯
