2010年最值得您拜读的冷笑话让您的智慧如同小孩脑筋急转弯6岁大全一般瞬间增长十万倍

1.男孩对女孩说:“如果你愿意,我愿意!!!”(暗语你猜出来了吗?)

2.今天我也当了回“HR”!我看了半天,对乌龟说:“你们谁先动我就买谁!”(HR=猎头)

3.去闲逛,小凤与同学走失,突然商场广播响起:“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台,你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问:哈尔滨停水4天,要赶上拉肚子了怎么办?

回答:有没有想过,在家里种个大棚,自己种点蔬菜呀?这样不仅可以解决食物问题,还能避免外出传染疾病呢!

5.今日正午起,工大进入全面停水状态,据说至少四天,为帮大家顺利度过缺水期,特提供以下应急方案:

刷牙用白醋,不但杀灭细菌,还能清洁牙齿;洗脸用牛奶,不但柔嫩肌肤,还能保湿皮肤;晚上泡脚用酸奶,不但松骨还能活血;洗发用红牛,让每根发丝都充满活力。

6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”,一共一百万个,每个形态各异,都要一次性购买100万个,那样才不会亏本赚翻!

7.now is not a good time for business, you know.

8.??:Why is the business so bad?

??:It's because of the bird flu!

9.This weekend, I won't accept any gifts; I'll only accept bottled water! The boy holding a bottle of mineral water in his hand - my eyes are only on you!!

10.The teacher announced that anyone who didn't come to class would have their final exam grade deducted by 50 points! When he called out "brother," he accidentally skipped over it and shouted, "Teacher, you missed one!" The old teacher looked down and said, "There isn't any."

11.Harbin City has stopped providing water due to a dispute between two major brands: Pepsi and Coca-Cola.

12.A girl encountered a robber who trembled and said, "I'm from the mining college; just graduated but still haven't found a job... really don't have any money..." The robber burst into tears saying, "Sister-in-law, we're also from the mining college; take your ID card well ahead of time as there will be more robbers targeting our own people!"

13.(Harbin University) Me: Rumor says Harbin is going to have an earthquake? What should we do if that happens when we're at XX? Boyfriend: Then I can just lie on top of you without having to move myself~

14.I hate three kinds of people:

1.those with racial discrimination;

2.black people;

3.those who can't count!

15.Playing CS (Counter-Strike), saw someone wearing sunglasses with an upside-down number '51' on them and typing below - 'wo shi dang yuan' (I am party member), follow me!!'

16.Woke up too late~ Teacher said something like “Today's lesson ends here….” Woke up~

17.In our dormitory hallways SG learned how to play the violin recently; those ear-piercing sounds were like scratching metal pots with fingernails... Out of kindness we tried not to discourage him.

These are all about jokes circulating among students or internet memes in China during certain periods around 2010s.

Here are some rewritten versions:

1.A young man once told his girlfriend that if she was willing to give it another try after they broke up,

he would be more than happy

to make things right again.

2.Today I even played HR for a while! After observing everyone for half an hour,

I turned around and told Turtle-san,

"If either one of you tries anything funny,

you'll find yourself bought out by me!"

And so forth....

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