1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲戚家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
6.其实，奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，形态各异，要买就得一次买100万个，少一个就失去收藏价值，赚翻了……
7.now business is not good!
8.during the school's inspection, a teacher asked me to show my homework, but I had forgotten it at home.
9.this weekend do not receive gifts; only receive mineral water!
10.when the teacher called out names during roll call and reached one brother, he suddenly jumped over and shouted: "Teacher, you skipped me!"
11.haerbin city has been experiencing a four-day water stop sponsored by nongfu spring!
12.a girl who was robbed trembled and said: "I'm from the mining university; I just graduated, but haven't found a job yet…"
13."haerbin will experience an earthquake?" my friend asked anxiously; his boyfriend replied calmly: "That would be perfect; I wouldn't need to move myself."
14.i hate two types of people:
15.during cs playtime, i saw someone holding a sign that read "51" and charging forward with it; below it were written these words:
16.she woke up when she heard the teacher say: “today's class ends here…”
17.in our dormitory, an sg just learned to play the violin; its sound was like scraping nails on a pot bottom… sharp sounds that stimulated our eardrums;
18.my classmate wanted to get married so badly that she even tried to find someone in the street;
19.the leader asked us about party members in our class; we replied there were 14 party members among us;
20.asked food service staff for advice on what food could help keep warm during cold weather;
21.if replying comments is virtue,
22.he thought of telling his girlfriend about their secret love affair while pretending they were washing their feet together;
23.a blind beggar wearing sunglasses was begging on the street.
24.someone sang in our dormitory room: "i don't want to be big brother anymore..."; everyone begged him to stop singing;
25.rather than china having no virgins,
26.interpreting language at foreign studies college met an old friend from mine.
27.called customer service for westinghouse phone quality issues.
28.two students studying together looked up words in their dictionary.
29.at three years old,
30.after five years of study,
31禽流感——都是“天屎”惹的祸！
32.there are two types of people who are very likely to get bird flu:
33.i think a nation truly strong should have broad-mindedness like embracing all rivers into one sea;
34.you're making trouble again? well,
35.MM
标签： 趣味冷笑话 、 冷笑话搞笑 、 幽默风趣的冷笑话 、 脑筋急转弯5000题爆笑版 、 免费脑筋急转弯大全
