1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？
回答：有没有想过，在家里种个大棚，自己种点蔬菜呀？这样不仅可以解决食物问题，还能避免外出传染疾病呢！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，去除异味，让你的牙齿清新如初；
洗脸，用牛奶，不仅清洁，而且温和，对皮肤有好处；
晚上泡脚，用酸奶，不仅舒缓身体，还能帮助消化；
6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，每一个都独具特色，这样收藏价值高得不得了！
7.now business is not good, you know?
8.going to the market, I saw a poster that said "Free Water for Everyone!" and thought it was a great deal until I realized it was just a scam.
9.asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday and she said "water" so I bought her a whole case of Evian.
10.in class, the teacher asked us to name all the animals in alphabetical order and when he got to "zebra", he started laughing and said "you're right!"
11.haerbin city is under water crisis! don't worry, i have solution!
12.a girl met robbers who were about to attack her but she told them she was from Minzu University and they felt sorry for her so they didn't rob her.
13.i hate two kinds of people: those who discriminate against others based on their race or ethnicity; secondly, black people; thirdly, those who can't count!
14.when playing CS with my friends online, we noticed one player had an unusual username - 51 - followed by a message saying "wo shi dang yuan" which means "I am an army man".
15.i love how some people use their talents for good causes like raising money for charity through singing or dancing.
16.the teacher stopped teaching halfway through the lesson because he realized that his students had already learned enough material.
17.my friend's pet dog ran away but luckily someone found him safe and sound at the local park where he loved going to play fetch with other dogs.
18.someone tried to sell me something called 'gym equipment' but i knew it was just another scam so i politely declined.
19.if you want your hair cut like mine then go see my barber at number 23 street corner
20.question: why did you bring me here?
21.answer: because this place has everything we need
22.what do you think about our new product?
23.answer: well... let's say it's quite... unique
24.do you mind if i ask what inspired this design?
25.response: oh no! please don't tell anyone that we are actually running out of coffee beans in china!
26.you look tired! maybe you should take a nap instead of working overtime tonight
27.after hearing about your latest project failure again today sir..
标签： 幽默风趣的笑话大全书 、 开心幽默笑话 、 儿童脑筋急转弯 、 冷笑话 笑话大全 、 最非常特别搞笑的笑话
