1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“猎头”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲戚家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！ 你会游泳吗？那就去游泳馆拉！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，除异味，让一天口齿清新，让自信倍增；
洗脸不成问题，用牛奶，它纯天然，无刺激性，还能滋养柔嫩肌肤；
晚上泡脚用酸奶，因为乳酸菌能有效清除一日面部污垢；
洗发用红牛，以刺激发根，让每根发丝兴奋起来，有活力、潇洒飘逸！
6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，要买100万个，一少一个失收藏价值赚翻。
7.now business is bad!
8.Anyone who dares to offend the handsome guy (青尘) or the cool guy (羽戈) will be dragged out and beaten up! They'll have their eyes gouged out, their hair pulled off, and their face splashed with sulfuric acid!
9.This weekend I won't accept gifts; I only accept bottled water! The boy holding a bottle of mineral water in his hand says, "My eyes are only on you!!"
10.The teacher said that if anyone is absent during roll call, they will lose 50 points at the end of the term! When he reached one brother, he accidentally skipped over it and shouted loudly: "Teacher, you missed one!"
11.Harbin's water stoppage is sponsored by Nongfu Spring!
12.A girl being robbed trembled and said: "I'm from a mining college; just graduated but haven't found a job yet..." The robber was so moved that he cried bitterly,"Sister, take your certificate; we don't rob our own kind!"
13.(Harbin Institute of Technology) Me: Rumor has it Harbin might have an earthquake? What should we do when that happens in XX? Boyfriend: That would be perfect; no need for me to move myself~~
14.I hate two kinds of people:
15.Playing CS (Counter-Strike), I saw someone wearing glasses charging forward with a "51" straight into my face while typing below—“wo shi dang yuan,follow me!!!”
16.Bang-bang wouldn't wake up~ Teacher said today's class would end here… then woke up.
17.In our dorm room SG just learned to play the violin—the sound was like scraping nails on pots... sharp sounds stimulating our eardrums. We tried not to discourage him out of kindness.
18.My friend wants her sister-in-law so badly... She admires her so much~~ Then she told me not to discourage her saying,”It's easy now; all you need is an ID card for nine bucks.” My friend added maliciously,"And no mandatory marriage exam!" So my friend brought back a man from the street and said,'We're getting married!' before I could stand up again.
19.Teacher asked us about party members in our class—fourteen students were party members among whom eight were boys." replied.
20.Question food court staff: What should eat when cold? Answered: Eat some cotton for warmth~
标签： 可以逗别人开心的笑话 、 爆笑冷笑话 、 冷笑话段子 爆笑 、 三年级脑筋急转弯 、 一问一答冷笑话合集
