1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“猎头”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲戚家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！ 你会游泳吗？那就去游泳馆拉！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，除异味，让一天口齿清新，让你倍增自信；
至于洗脸，不成问题，用牛奶，因为纯天然，无刺激性，还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤；
晚上泡脚用哈啤，因为松骨润肤，可以消除一日学习疲劳。
6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，要买100万个，一少一个失收藏价值赚翻……
7.now business is bad, right?
8.these days, the school's main gate has been put under surveillance by a pair of hawk-eyed security guards who are determined to catch any cheaters or troublemakers.
9.this weekend, I won't accept gifts; I'll only accept mineral water! The boy holding a bottle of mineral water said with a smile: "My eyes are only on you!!"
10.in class today, the teacher announced that anyone who didn't come to class would have their final grade deducted by 50 points!
11.Harbin city-wide stoppage of water supply sponsored by Nongfu Spring!
12.a girl met a mugger and trembled, saying "I'm from the Mining University, just graduated but haven't found a job yet..." The mugger burst into tears and said "Sister-in-law, I'm also from the Mining University! Take your ID card and go ahead with the robbery; we absolutely won't rob our own kind!"
13.(Hefei University) If there's an earthquake in Harbin when we're at XX... how will we handle it? My boyfriend replied with a grin: "That way you don't need to move yourself..."
14.i hate two kinds of people:
one is racist;
two is black;
three doesn’t know math!
15.playing CS online game saw someone wearing glasses charging forward with his 51 key straight ahead while typing below: “I am an agent follow me!!!”
16.wake up~ Teacher said one sentence “Today’s lesson ends here….” woke up~
17.the dormitory had an SG learn to play violin recently; those notes were like fingernails scraping against pots – sharp sounds piercing through our eardrums out of respect for him not criticizing him directly.
18.my roommate asked my senior sister for advice ~~~~ as she envied her so much... i teased her saying “it’s easy now; just get an ID card and pay nine bucks!” She was surprised saying “Isn’t that allowing anyone to get married?” then added casually “But i’ll treat you both!” before walking away...
19.senior brother reports work situation to leader: Our party members are 14 in total while male students are eight.
20.asked food vendor about cold weather what helps keep warm most effectively?
21.if replying comments was virtue then i'd be divine already!
22.told girlfriend ML after washing face and brushing teeth (giggle) ...then she blushed shyly telling me which part could wash which part...
23.a blind beggar wore sunglasses on street begging money.
24.someone sings loudly in dormitory singing song :“i haven’t been big brother for many years,i don’t love cold beds…” immediately someone yells out “Big Brother please stop singing!!!”
25.please let China have no virgins rather than Japan having one!
标签： 冷笑话段子感情 、 脑筋急转弯谜语大全 、 精选冷笑话 、 爆笑的脑筋急转弯笑话 、 脑筋急转弯爆笑版带答案
