2010年1000个冷笑话如同星辰般璀璨为您点亮智慧的夜空

1.男孩对女孩说:“如果你愿意,我愿意!!!”(暗语你猜出来了吗?) 2.今天我也当了回“HR”!我看了半天,对乌龟说:“你们谁先动我就买谁!”(HR=猎头) 3.去闲逛,小凤与同学走失,突然商场广播响起:“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台,你妈妈在找你……” 4.提问:哈尔滨停水4天,要赶上拉肚子了怎么办? 回答:你工作了没?那就去单位拉! 你上学了没?那就去学校拉! 你有朋友吗?那就去朋友家拉! 你有亲戚吗?那就去亲户家拉! 你有车吗?那就去野外拉! 你会泳吗?那就去游泳馆拉! 你会冬泳吗?那就去松花江拉! 如果以上全不通过,请在自己的裤兜里找个热乎地方烘干,四天后洗裤子。

5.今日正午起,工大进入全面停水状态,据说至少四天,为帮大家顺利度过缺水期,特提供以下应急方案:刷牙用白醋,杀灭细菌,保持一天口齿清新;至于洗脸,用牛奶,因为纯天然,无刺激性,还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤;同时,每位学姐学妹可根据自己偏好选择苹果味、草莓味等香型;晚上泡脚用哈啡,让骨骼松软、血液循环通畅,可以消除一日的学习疲劳;洗发用红牛,让每根发丝都兴奋起来,一身潇洒飘逸!

6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”,形态各异,每个都要买一个,以保证收藏价值。

7.now business is bad, right? Old big said why? Little sister said "Avian influenza".

8.if you tell a lie, you will be punished by the law; but if you tell the truth, you will be praised by everyone.

9.no gifts this weekend, only mineral water! The boy who held no chocolate or roses in his hand was my eyes-only you!!

10.when calling roll after class, anyone absent would have their final grade deducted by 50 points! He jumped over one name and shouted: "Teacher, you missed one!" The old teacher looked down and said: "No...?"

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