发个朋友圈搞笑逗人笑最牛的应聘者语录

★有一个人很笨总找不到工作。一天他到肯德基面试。经理问:“你有什么特长?”他说:“我会唱歌。”于是他清清嗓子唱道:“更多选择更多欢笑尽在麦当劳…”

★职业介绍所职员:“请问您的学历?”

失业者:“人生大学生存竞争系修学生。”

这早上参加了大队的面试,主考官问我:

“本市的道路开挖分几期?”

我回答:“三期”

主考官点头,再问我:“哪三期?(具体时间)”

我很傻很天真地回答:“第一期,第二期,第三期!”

八个考官全体笑翻…

女一公司待遇颇丰,展位前人头攒动,很多应聘者被直接拒绝。一位老兄在人群中杀开一条血路,挤到桌前,挥舞双拳大吼一声:“你招还是不招?”

文到招聘会,见展位就投简历。其中一个展位实在没得投,就直接投了个招副总的。招聘的MM看着我说,“你觉得我们现在就把这个公司交给你,我们放心吗?”

I said, “Have what to not put my trust in, we are two-way selection yeah!”

★到了一外企应聘,当他们问我的选择理由,我竟然说了句,“师夷长技以制夷!”

遂被当场赶出。

女面试官:”You think you have any advantages?”

Student: “My advantage is many. My memory is very good, once I memorized the Oxford dictionary, page 606 right side eleventh word 'Shit', total of 66 pages. My organizational ability is also strong, every time our school's party was organized by me...”

( The interviewer probably collapsed at this point; this guy has a silver tongue but strayed off the topic)

Interviewer: "Can you speak Korean?"

Student: "Yes! I majored in Korean studies during college. I love watching Korean dramas and understand Korean culture."

Interviewer: "So can you introduce yourself in Korean?" Student: "Ah... how do I say it..."

(The student looked puzzled as sweat poured down the face of the interviewer)

★★

A: Why does your company's penalty for breach of contract exceed that of other companies?

B (student): If we didn't collect higher penalties, wouldn't people just leave us?

★★

Q (student): Are they here to recruit or promote?

A (interviewer): No recruitment today!

(B) The girl asked a question at a job fair that left everyone stunned.)

★★

Q (interviewer): Do you know about our company? Can you mention some of our strategic products?

B (student): Of course. I've been paying attention to your company for a long time. Every day I hope to come participate in your interviews and join your company - it would be my greatest honor.

Your company has developed computer chips with world-leading technology since listing...

(Continuing enthusiastically as if there were no problems; the interviewer regretted not bringing an umbrella now even considering using one; carrying an umbrella would suffice)

The student said confidently:

"Miss, why did you throw away all these resumes into the trash can?"

(The girl who saw someone from HR throwing away dozens of resumes on her table but only took out a small portion strangely asked) Interviewer:

"We only hire eight people this year." You think we have so much time to look through all these resumes?"

Student:

"Give me back my resume!"

(This girl got her resume back without being thrown away; he was among them too.)

★ Q: Please briefly introduce yourself within one minute.

A (student):

"I am xx from x× University," which includes top universities like 985 Project National Key Universities." As well as Chairman of School Students' Union.

Interviewer:

"Hold on! Hold on! Ten minutes ago someone from your university already came here!"

(Questions about his family background were already detailed on his CV.)

A: What makes your resume stand out?

B (student):

"The cover page looks nice – made for two yuan."

A:

"What factors might cause loss of motivation or confidence?"

B:

"If salaries are lower than others'."

A:

"Why do sewer covers have round shapes?"

B (student):

"They must have some shape!"

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