爸爸讲起开心一刻最新笑话比西伯利亚寒潮更腻害家里物品都被冷笑话冻得不敢动

众所周知,除了生日小丑和独角滑稽秀演员,最厉害的段子手就是各家的爸爸们。他们最擅长一词多用,妙语连珠。尽管他们这种喜剧风格并不是所有的人都钟爱,但对于一个不失时机的小笑话,任何人都会报以好感,哪怕是极少的一点好感。如果讲笑话的人讲完笑话又开始发出雷鸣般的傻笑,再加上一个经典的“枪”型手势,观众们更是控制不住要发笑了。

来看看下面从全网搜集的最佳“爸爸笑话”。

今天我的儿子问我“能给我张书签吗?”我顿时泪如泉涌。他已经11岁了,仍不知道我的名字叫Brian。

网友评论:Brian我真为你难过,有一天他会明白的。

我妻子说我毫无方向感,为此她非常生气。所以我收拾好自己的行李就向右走了。

网友评论:I love this one.

爸爸:我进城的路上一直在听收音机,听说有个女明星刚刚自杀。

妈妈:哦天呐!是谁呀?

爸爸:呃,我不记得……好像叫Reese什么什么吧

妈妈:WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

爸爸:不,不是那个意思……好像是用刀……

网友评论:Groan - nice one!

你知道第一份法国薯条其实不是在法国诞生的?它们是在希腊诞生的。

网友评论:This was so stupid that i actually laughed out loud.

如果一个孩子拒绝在午睡时间睡觉,他们会因拘捕获罪吗?

网友评论:如果那孩子想逃避追捕,他应该寻求掩护

我正在读一本关于反重力的书。我无法把它放下来!

网友评论:You must obey gravity, it's the law

你怎么称呼一个既没有身体,也没有鼻子的人的?没人知道

网友评论:"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea."

我在亚马逊上订购了一只鸡,一個鸡蛋。我會讓大家知道結果。

网友评论:"Eggs still came first, but for another reason."

世界上最少人使用的是哪种语言?手语。

10.my daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!? What a strange way to start a conversation with me..

11.A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas." These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

12.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... It's impossible to put down!

13.Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

14.The guy who runs it is always yelling at customers: 'You want fries with that?! You want ketchup on your burger?!'

15.One day he yelled at someone: 'And don't even think about asking for extra cheese!'

16.The customer replied calmly: 'Oh really? And how much will that cost me?'

17.'Absolutely nothing,' said the manager...

18...'Nothing?' asked the customer...

19...'Because we're not charging anyone who irritates our staff.'

20.'Well then,' said my friend sitting next to me,

21.'I'll have what she's having.'

22.I looked over at her and smiled...

标签: